2010年10月25日星期一

Don’t judge be by my look

When I said “I don’t know”, if the issue is related to the knowledge… is im REALLY DON’TKNOW
But if the issue is related to the people, relationship or etc… is because I don’t want to say, I don’t wish to say, and I don’t know how to express that kinds of feeling by putting them into words. ESPECIALLY THOSE RELATIONSHIP STUFF!!!
Don’t think that I’m super immature or I’m really stupid that I dun know anything or I can’t think. I’m just trying to make the atmosphere better, if not, ask u, u want the “lately-secondary’s jia min” (form 4) back? Who was lazy to give any nice face-expression to you? Who always show a poke face?
I’m just trying to adjust myself to feel comfortable being this way. There are too many types of jia  mins’ spirits in my body (as you know, I have two different characteristic). I’m just trying to bring my “early primary’s jiamin” (primary 1-3) and “early secondary’s jia min” (sec 1-2) back again, just to have fun, and SERIOULY!! DON’T TREAT ME AS A JOKER, DON’T HYPOCRITE IN FRONT OF ME. It is irritating and disgusting!!!
If you don’t mind the “lately-secondary jiamin” back, please tell me, I also don’t mind to be my “late-ly-secondary’s jia min” again.

I think further as you thought, when I said something different from you, please think why I said in this way, not because I din’t think in the way your thought (yes, I did), but it was just I think more further.
For instance, last time I go back Kranji with li yuan, JR and Sher asked me go to “this fashion” as well. I was thinking there will not be enough time for me to go there, because we need to queue for the bus. But they didn’t think in that way.. And I was lazy to give explanation, thus I act like “yarhor” (I was lazy to explain to them, SERIOUSLY). And yet, they showed me this face, = = …… and said, “why you cannot think want?” And JR’s eyes were rolling!!! WTH!!!!
It is like… WTH!!! I wished I could tell them that could you guys think further. I know maybe it was my fault that I should not give them that kind of non-verbal cue…... but I was just SUPER LAZY to explain!!! SERIOUSLY!!
And yet…… I think JR seriously don’t like me…… the feeling getting stronger… yeah, I’m sensitive, but I won’t be sensitive without any reason..  but when you ask me what makes me have that feeling, I can try to explain to you why, but most of the time I will say “don’t know” (this is related to the relationship, I was just don’t know how to express those reasons in words!!!!!!!!)
And yet, JR is irritating me somehow… I don’t know why… her face expression? Eye-movement? I can’t stand it anymore? (It started from the DARE camp!!! And I did try to tell myself maybe it was just I’m too sensitive, or maybe it was just because JR was feeling tired, I did try to psyco myself back, but now, I guess what I have observed is true))

It is really affecting my mood greatly…... yeah rite… = =

Okay…… maybe is related to my mood swing…… or you can interpret in this way, is she affecting my mood…. WTH



((to JR: yes, maybe you are smarter than me… although you did teach me those bio and chem, before the lesson, but I would like to tell you that actually I knew (because I have learnt from my few months A-level), and I was just trying to make a double confirmation to you. And I did appreciate that you tell me those important things before the lesson. So don’t think that, I have a good performance or what what what is merely because of you and stop eye-rolling in front of me.

((to Sher: yeah, I know you are quite abusive. And please know that I’m very easy to get injured and will feel pain easily. [I did do this kind of thing on my friends before, and I almost killed the person somehow (not that serious lah), and it indirectly affect the friendship, thus I didn’t hit back you, I just don’t wish that the history rewind]. I don’t have a high density of bone, strong cushion of fat underneath the skin layer, and a lot of meat for you to squeeze… yeah, I know you have reduced the frequent of abusing me.. LOL…. But yet, please reduce the amount of using “you want die izit?”… I refuse to fight back is because I don’t wish to affect our friendship… (as I mentioned, I almost killed my friendship before) that why I use “expression of fear” to respond back… so don’t think that you have won…

If you guys are reading this blog, I don’t really mind (although I didn’t wish you guys to read it (especially for JR)